Happiness Insights

Happiness Insights Index

For more Happiness Insights explore the Happiness Habit web site, the Creating Happiness Blog (Index at Creating-Happiness.com),  the Happiness Blog, Happiness Habit Notes and Happiness In Hard Times.  Follow us on Twitter:  Twitter.com/HappinessHabit and Facebook.com/HappinessHabit

Happiness Stance - Happiness Posture

Are there ways of sitting, standing or holding your body that can make you happy? 

YES if you believe Charlie Brown and Peanuts!

"This is my "depressed stance."  When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand.  The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better.  If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this." - Charlie Brown

So what's the Happiness Stance? How can you hold your body to induce and encourage happy feelings?

As you are sitting or standing, imagine a string attacked to the center of the top of your head pulling gently straight upwards. Stretch gently straight upwards along the lines of that string as far as you can and relax. Notice that you can't breathe easily or deeply in this position.

Now drop your shoulders very slightly backwards so you can breathe easily, freely and deeply.

This is the Happiness Stance - A straight spine and relaxed body balanced easily and effortlessly upwards so you can breath easily and deeply.

Practice getting into the Happiness Stance in both a standing and sitting position.  Feeling balanced and being able to breathe easily is powerful.  It's the first step to summoning up an  energized, relaxed power you can use to brighten your spirits. 

Now try some Breaking Wave Breathing™ - Shut your eyes and place yourself on a beautiful ocean beach. Wiggle your toes and feel the sand beneath your feet.  Listen to the sound of the sea birds in the distance. Hear the waves crashing on the beach. Step into the Happiness Stance.

Slowing inhale to the sound of the incoming waves.  Fill your lungs with air then relax and exhale effortless as the wave crashes on the beach.  Do this repeatedly.  Inhale bright blue sky and exhale rich, warm, relaxed well-being. 

Becareful you don't get too light headed, slow down or stop if you do.

With each breath inhale bright blue sky and exhale rich, warm, energized relaxation.

Smile, beam brightly and feel good.

You feel more relaxed, energized and powerful with each breath.

With practice you will be able to step into the Happiness Stance with two or three Breaking Wave crashes on that beautiful beach.  Wiggle your toes and enjoy it.  You will feel wonderful!

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. 

Ending Misery - Agonizing Horror Shows

Have you ever done something with the best possible intentions thinking it was the right and best thing to do...

And then have it blow up, turn into a disaster and a huge embarrassment because of something you didn't think of, know or foresee?

How did you feel?  What did you think?

Did you allow the incident to dominate your thoughts, running it through your mind again and again, each time agonizing and anguishing more deeply about what happened?

Did you make yourself miserable as the thoughts grew more pronounced and more painful?

When people told you to "Just let it go!" did you find you couldn't?

You've just created your own internal horror show!

Those awful, agonizing thoughts are giving you a powerful, painful jolt of negative energy. 

It's like sitting in a horror movie of your own making that goes on and on.  The more you think about what happened, the worse it gets...  Anxiety and anguish continue to build.

This horror show doesn't have an end... unless you recognize what is happening and decide to end it.

Deciding to just let it go often doesn't work, it's like deciding NOT to think about a purple elephant with pink spots.  By trying not to think of it you keep it alive in your mind.  Instead,

Decide To Detach From Those Dangerous Feelings!  Ask yourself:

• Is agonizing over this going to help?  Will it make it better?

• How long am I going to make myself miserable with this horror show? 

• How much time am I going to waste?

• What can I do to improve the situation?  To help people who may have been hurt?

• What can I do to feel better about myself?  About what happened?

• How can I learn from it?  Grow?  Gain from my pain?

Some Things In Life Are Just Ooops!

You didn't intend to do anything awful.  It just may have seem, to some, that it turned out that way. You can't change it, you can't fix it, you can try to make it right and avoid doing it again, but it's done.

Go and do some good works, help someone who needs help, try to be extra kind, considerate and caring.  Give back in a genuine, sincere way.

Focusing on doing good will help you to feel good and you'll help another part of the world to be better off and feel good too.

Creating happiness for others is a great what to atone and create happiness for yourself.

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com the HappinessBlog.com, and Creating-Happiness.com.  Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Happiness, Criticism and Insecurity

Criticism Often Flows From Insecurity

People who lack confidence, ability, acceptance or social grace sometimes feel a need to to compensate for their feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.  

They may criticize, put something or someone down to raise them self up. This provides a false sense of self importance, self righteousness and superiority.

It's the Fault Finding Feel Goods, making themselves feel good by putting something down, criticizing and complaining. 

The problem is, they are focusing on negatives, that's not the way to happiness or spiritual success.  It's also not the best way to get what you want. 

Describing what's wrong does not say what is right, focusing on what's bad does not express what is good, telling people what you don't like does not communicate what you do want.

Happy people avoid the Fault Finding Feel Goods and Avoid All Unnecessary, Non-Productive Negativity.

Unhappy people and critics can always tell you what's wrong, happy people often don't have a clue what they are upset about.

Critics Often Embrace A Critical World View - Everything is bad or unacceptable. They are critical of other people, inferior things, differences, unusual opportunities, you name it.  When you see so many bads and wrongs in life, it's hard to be happy, spiritually successful or confident. 

Criticism Causes Insecurity And Criticism Flows From Insecurity. Critics are often hypersensitive and especially prone to slights which is a symptom of their insecurity. 

The Solution: 

1) Recognize where critical tendencies come from and how damaging they are to happiness, spiritual success and emotional well-being.
     
2) Consciously embrace and practice a more loving, positive, accepting approach and perspective.
     
3) Build confidence by seeing opportunities and wonderful possibilities instead of the critical insecurity which limits your opportunities and separates you from enjoyable experiences, people and spiritual success.

Adventure:  Remember those dreadful events you have to attend where everyone is so boring?  Everyone there has something interesting, exciting and valuable to share with you, your challenge is to find it. 

Turn each interaction into a fascinating hunt where you are eager to discover each person's interesting, memorable, exciting qualities. Learn to enjoy meeting and greeting. Play host rather than insecure guest. 

Study how great leaders and political figures work a room.  It's a learned skill you can acquire if you are genuinely interested in other people. It's only possible when you appreciate and affirm and do not continually find fault.

This is far more interesting, exciting, rewarding and satisfying way to live than critical isolation.

Enjoy Yourself And Other People

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com the HappinessBlog.com  and Creating-Happiness.com.   Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Enjoying Work

The secret to enjoying work is to see each task or action as a satisfying achievement that moves you closer to success or a worthwhile goal.

Connect What You Have To Do
To What Is Important To You

Even the most boring jobs can support families well, allow you to achieve other life dreams or provide income to pursue activities that are truly important to you -  higher education, a hobby, sport, your music, writing, charitable goals or valued volunteer work.

Decide What You Are Going To Do And Find Ways To Enjoy It

Energy and enthusiasm to complete tasks well are just as important as developing good plans.

Excite Your Attitude To Energize Your Actions

Creatively change chores into interesting games, keep score, involve other people, tie everything you do to meaningful goals. Take pride in doing simple things extraordinarily well. 

Expect To Enjoy Your Work And
Find Ways To Make Work Enjoyable And Rewarding

Dreading or disliking what you have to do lets negative attitudes undermine your effectiveness and your enjoyment. If this doesn't work and you really dislike what you do, make changes.

Make Lists, Check Off And Celebrate Completed Tasks

Consciously celebrate successful completion of each task, step or section.  Continually celebrating success fuels your drive to achieve more.

See Happiness Habits At Work and the Happiness Blog for more on Happiness and "Work"

Copyright 1999-    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com the HappinessBlog.com and Creating-Happiness.com. Our materials may Not be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.

Happiness In Tough Times

What are the keys to happiness and spiritual success in tough times when your economic well-being is threatened and severely stressed?

Here are highlights from the Happiness In Hard Times concept summary card that may help.  Explore Happiness In Hard Times for complete descriptions.

Action, Activity & Achievement Are Healing - Working hard on worthwhile goals is energizing, encouraging and empowering. Isolation and Inactivity are big dangers. Don't isolate yourself from people, positive experiences and opportunities that can help you.

Avoid The Fault Finding Feel Goods and
Avoid All UnNecessary, Non-Productive Negativity - these key Happiness Habits are especially important during tough times.  Amazing improvements in happiness come from simply avoiding unnecessary negativity.

Revol & Rebel - against situations and forces that distress or depress your spirits. Don't give them control of your thoughts, actions, feelings, time and attention. Don't help them hurt you. Simply say, "I am not giving you control of my feelings. I am not giving you the power to hurt me."

Don't Beat Yourself Up!  We are at our best and able to perform our best when we are Up, confident, energized, focused and happy.  Don't tear yourself down or hurt your ability to perform well.

Our Focus Determines Our Feelings - focusing on bad things makes us feel sad, anxious or angry. Shifting our attention to good things is energizing, elevating, encouraging. We never feel better by focusing on how badly we feel or on how poorly we think we are doing. Focus on what you want to achieve.

Move From Problems To Solutions Quickly - moving from problems to positive solutions makes us feel better. So does working hard to implement them.

Misery Is Meant To Make Us Move - Misery signals something has changed and something needs to change. We need to change to end our misery. We may need to change what we are doing, change how we are thinking, change how we are feeling, or change all three.

For more specific steps you can take to be happy in tough times explore the Happiness In Hard Times  and Happiness Blog web sites.

Copyright 1999-    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com the  HappinessBlog.com and Creating-Happiness.com. Our materials may Not be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.

Why Happiness Varies By Culture & Country

Happiness Indexes and happiness ratings get a great deal of media attention.  Happiness does vary by culture and some countries and cultures are happier than others.

The key questions to ask are: "What causes these differences in happiness?"

And most importantly, "What can we do to be happier?"

Our research shows the happiest people in the world are the most loving people, they are very kind, caring, compassionate and they have high ethics and integrity.

Habitually happy people love what they do, they love the people around them, they love their work and they love themselves. Love truly does propel happiness. Optimism, love and joy characterize happy people, cultures and countries.

In the Western world, many people chase after "Success" thinking "Success" will bring them happiness but they are often very disappointed. Happiness and “Success” are two very different things.

There are lots of very "Successful" people who are not especially happy. Michael Jackson comes to mind.

America's focus on competition and material “Success” at the expense of love, caring, community and compassion lowers our comparative Happiness index.

In bad economic times, when material “Success” is elusive for so many, we feel even worse.

The secret to happiness is so simple it almost seems trite, but it works.

Fuel your life and your work with love. Love what you do, love the people around you, love your work, your tasks and love yourself.  Revolt and rebel against letting hardships down your spirits. Resolve to triumph and be happy despite your difficulties.

Explore HappinessBlog.com and HappinessInHardTimes.com for more simple, specific steps you can take to be happier during difficult times.

Copyright 1999-    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and the HappinessBlog.com  and Creating-Happiness.com.  Our materials may Not be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.

Avoid Blinding Optimism

Positive Thinking Is Dangerous
When It Prompts People To
Overlook Warning Signs
And Danger Signals

Prevailing psychobabble prescribes positive thinking as the universal path to happiness and material success.

Life, happiness and success are very different and a great deal more complex.

Ignoring Warning Signs And Danger Signals Can Be Disastrous!

Think of all the famous disasters caused by excessive optimism.

Habitually Happy People assess reality very accurately and carefully.  Once they are sure they have made good decisions, they use a full force of positive energy and expectations to propel their plans forward.

Belief in positive outcomes propels success only when it is supported by good decisions and wise actions.

Otherwise, positive thinking can prompt delusion and denial.

Assess reality carefully and accurately.  Make good decisions.  Put the full force of positive energy and expectations behind your plans.  Work hard to achieve your goals and be prepared to change your plans.

Believe in the success of everything you do.
Work hard to do the right thing in the best way possible.

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com and Creating-Happiness.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Happy People Are Alike

"All happy families  are alike but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."  ~ Leo Tolstoy  (1829-1910)

The personal qualities and characteristics of happy people are remarkably consistent. They are generally kind, caring, loving, honest, enthusiastic, curious, energetic and adventuresome.

Unhappy people, in contrast, exhibit a wide variety of psychological distress, disease and dysfunction.

Happiness Habit interviewed and studied habitually happy people from many different walks of life and personal situations. 

We found characteristically happy people had a very distinctive way of looking at the world that fuels their ever present joy and helps protect them from stress and distress. We call these special qualities Happiness Habits.

If you choose to adopt and embrace Happiness Habits for yourself, you too can be happy or happier despite what is happening to you or around you. See Happiness Habits For Families - http://HappinessHabitsForFamilies.com

From How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier
by Michele Moore  p.26-27

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com  and Creating-Happiness.com.   Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Define Yourself As A Happy Person

Define Yourself, Decide What Sort Of Person You Want To Be And Become And Work To Become That Person.  Clear goals define steps to attain them.

Want to be happy and spiritually successful? 

Decide to be a happy, spiritually successful person.  See yourself as that person, embrace that ideal as real and authentic for you.  Acquire Happiness Habits.

Imagine what that happy and spiritually successful person is really like. Practice being that happy, spiritually successful person all of the time. In time that goal will become a real and authentic role for you.

If we don't decide what sort of person we want to be and become and then work to become that person, our environment and experience determine our identity and destiny for us.  They may not always serve us well.

Define Yourself As Happy And Spiritually Successful And Work To Become A Happy, Spiritually Successful Person.  Visualize how that person acts and reacts, take those qualities on for yourself. Acquire Happiness Habits.

Practice being that person until it becomes a real and natural habit for you.

You will become happy and spiritually successful over time.

From:  How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier
by Michele Moore  p.54-55

Copyright 1999-     , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com and Creating-Happiness.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Live According To Your Aspirations, Not Your Inclinations

Living According To Our Aspirations means embracing, emphasizing and energizing our ideals, values and vision of who we want to be and become. 

Living by our Inclinations lets past programming, previous propensities and predilections shape and guide our behavior. They may not always serve us well.

If we don't decide what sort of person we want to be and become and then consciously work to become that person, our environment and our experience determine our identity and destiny for us.

It's a contrast between a life that is a conscious creation versus a mindless reaction and go with the flow existence.

To Be Happy And Spiritually Successful, Live According To Your Aspirations, NOT Your Inclinations. 

Practice Being The Person You Want To Be.

From How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier
By Michele Moore  p. 116-117

Copyright 1999-    , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com and Creating-Happiness.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com